A`udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ar-rajim. Bismillah, ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim.
Something we are told to do as Muslims and quite frankly, everyone should be doing. But much easier said than done. Being married is supposed to be a challenge. That’s why it’s called half of your deen. It’s not easy to complete HALF of your deen. I’m not claiming to know the answer to making your married life perfect. As it will never be perfect. Otherwise there is no test. But here are some reminders on helping you become the best to your spouse.
Remember that you are there as a support for your other half. Someone they can rely on, trust, help with their issues. We all have problems that can feel overwhelming and like you’re the only person in the world with this issue. But one of the hardest tasks is to step away from your own problems, to help your partner with theirs. If both husband and wife do this then you can both help each other out a lot.
Don’t take your partner for granted and NEVER make mean comments about them no matter how frustrated you are or even is you say it in a way that’s ‘joking’. I know some people that will call their other half ‘fat’ or something insulting and then laugh it off like it’s a joke. But it’s not funny. Just immature. Your partner should feel good about themselves around you. You should work on giving them so much love and praise that you don’t have time for the negative.
Don’t get mad at little things. Don’t start pointing the finger and making someone feel bad when accidents happen. You drop a plate, or forgot to put an alarm on or silly little things that people get upset about for no reason.
Don’t bring your work problems home. Yes be honest and talk to your spouse about whats going on . They can offer you emotional support. But don’t start getting mad at your spouse because someone got mad at you at work. Understand where that pain is coming from and verbalise it. “Sorry I shouldn’t get mad at you, you have done nothing wrong. It’s just I was told off by my boss today” Be honest. Honesty is always the best policy. It can help your other half understand you and help you.
Listen! When they are talking listen. Don’t sit on your phone and listen half heartily. Be attentive. Make them know that you WANT to spend time with them. If you are tired and need a break to chill on your phone or watch youtube videos then tell them. They will understand if you communicate it.
Arguments will happen. They always do. Shaytan loves making them happen. Just don’t escalate it too far. Don’t make it last longer than it needs to be. Make up as quick and possible and forget that it happened so you can move on together peacefully and not live in the past.
Share positive content with each other. Uplifting speeches, Islamic lectures, inspirational quotes. It’s good to have someone you can share your favourite things with. It will hep create a bond between you.
Most importantly, keep reminding each other of Allah SWT. Make sure you’re encouraging positivity in each other and both making an effort to be the best Muslims you can be. The more you strive to be a good Muslim, the better you’ll be to your spouse. They come hand in hand. So when things get bad turn to Allah for help. Make dua for your partner whenever they are sad and make sure they know you are on their team. Not against them. I hope Allah blesses your marriage and that you both make it to Jannah. Ameen.